Most participants do not run a marathon to win.
- Wikipedia

On Sunday I will be honouring Wikipedia’s knowledge by trying not to win my first marathon. When I mention I’m running the marathon, the first question I get is: “Crazy. How long is a marathon?” The answer, 42.2km, usually prompts this question: “Weird. Why such an arbitrary distance?” The answer is stranger than the number itself.

According to a few sources, the reason the race is such a bizarre length has to do with an ancient Greek hero, the British Monarchy and an American shot-putter. The first marathons were 40km, approximately the distance the Greek hero Pheidippides (right) ran from the Battle of Marathon, where the Greeks defeated the Persians, to Athens to announce the battle had been won before falling over dead. Wikipedia claims the other 2.2km came from a peculiar event at the 1908 London Olympics:

The distance from the start of the Marathon to the finish at the stadium was established at these games. The original distance of 25 miles was changed to 26 miles so the marathon could start at Windsor Castle and then changed again at the request of Princess Mary so the start would be beneath the windows of the Royal Nursery. To ensure that the race would finish in the front of the King, the finish line was moved by British officials who, in response to shot putter and American flag carrier Ralph Rose’s refusal to dip the American flag before the Royal Box during the opening ceremony, “felt compelled to restore the importance of the monarchy.”

Meaning that during the last 2.2km all I’ll be thinking is that I’m getting screwed by an American shot-putter and King Edward VII.

If you want to cheer me on–or watch me suffer, you can click on the map here. To figure out when I’ll be going by, approximately, multiplying the km number where you’ll be by 5 (I plan on running about 5:00 a km). I might be there ten minutes before or after, depending on how I’m feeling.

Also, because our Western culture has no traditions of its own, I’ve decided to resurrect the tradition of relaying a message to all those who will listen at the finish line. I don’t want to divulge the message ahead of time but I have a feeling that it might be profound if I’m feeling good and profane if not.